Sour Puss Page 18

  “Yeah. But I think we need sex just as much, only we’re taught to suppress it.”

  “Some women suppress it so much it vanishes.” BoomBoom swished the air with her hand. “The older I get, Harry, the more I know about some things and the less I know about others. At least, I’ve learned not to make grand statements except when it comes to things like horses.”

  “I’m waiting.”

  “Whenever I doubt there’s a God, I look at horses.” BoomBoom gazed at the foals with their mothers.

  Harry smiled broadly. “Don’t forget corgis.”

  Both women laughed as they headed toward the barn, the limbs on the trees swaying, the birds sticking close to home.

  “So you didn’t hear what happened at the redbud party?” Harry enjoyed testing this out.

  “No.” BoomBoom stopped and looked right at Harry. “What did I miss?”

  “Here’s a blow-by-blow description.” Harry laughed at her turn of phrase, then launched in.

  When Harry finished, BoomBoom, voice slightly raised, said, “You are so evil. You could have told me the minute I got out of the truck.”

  “More fun to wait. I knew no one had gotten to you or you would have said something.”

  “Do I have to beg to find out what the fight was about?”

  “No. I had to wait until this morning. Fair doesn’t get angry often, but when he does he takes a while to cool down. How they reached this point I don’t know. All I know is Fair says that Arch told him he didn’t deserve me. Fair agreed. Then Arch told him he’d cheat again, used the phrase we’ve all heard: ‘the leopard doesn’t change his spots.’ Fair told him that would never happen. Arch said something worse. Don’t know what, but Fair said, ‘Go screw yourself, because you’re not going to screw my wife.’ ”

  BoomBoom, astonished, gasped, “Fair said that? That is so unlike him.”

  “Shocked me, too.”

  “I guess.” BoomBoom drew out “guess.”

  “It’s all pretty embarrassing. Fair left early yesterday morning to call on Big Mim. He also sent a large bouquet. He called me after he left. Mim was lovely about it, of course. Aunt Tally was still there. She didn’t go home in that awful rainstorm. Well, she kissed Fair and told him she hadn’t had that much fun in years and he was perfectly right to defend his wife’s honor.”

  “What did Arch say?”

  “Fair wouldn’t tell me, but I called Aunt Tally on her cell this morning. She’d heard from Bo, who was standing by the coffee table when all this started, that Arch said,” Harry paused, color rising to her cheeks, “I was the best in bed that he ever had. Fair didn’t deserve me.”

  “He said that?” BoomBoom’s eyebrows leapt upward.

  Harry shrugged. “Guess so.”

  A long moment passed as they neared the barn. “Well, are you? The best in bed?”

  “Boom, I don’t know.”

  “The things I find out about you.”

  “And, of course, you’re a saint.”

  “I didn’t say that,” the tall blonde responded.

  Harry burst out laughing.

  BoomBoom laughed, too. “You know, it’s not sex with men that bores me. It’s their anxiety about it. I find that exhausting and tedious.”

  “Yeah, but they can’t always control the lever, you know. Stands up at the wrong time, sits down at the wrong time. Even if a man finally gets the girl of his dreams, his member isn’t a hundred percent reliable.”

  “Big damned deal.” BoomBoom evidenced no sympathy.

  “Hey, imagine if your breasts stood up and flopped down sometimes at will, sometimes against your will.”

  BoomBoom stared down at her magnificent appendages. “Dear God, what an awful thought.”

  “Anxiety. I rest my case.” Harry grinned triumphantly.

  BoomBoom laughed. “Given all that’s going on, I’m glad we can laugh.” She breathed deeply. “Talk to Bill Moses any more about your sharpshooters?”

  “I did. He said it’s bizarre. They can’t survive a Virginia winter. And, I quote, ‘Should they infect your vines, the damage will be minimal because they’ll be dead first frost.’ I asked about the vascular damage—I hope I’m using the right word, but you know, the little plant veins that carry the nutrients around. Bill declared they can’t do enough damage in the short summer they might live. I sure hope he’s right. And he reminded me that not all sharpshooters are infected.”

  “We didn’t see any today in your grapes.”

  “Wind blows everything away. I’m worried a little. And I’m worried about my Alverta peaches, too.”

  “Everyone else is focused on grapes,” BoomBoom replied. “Hey, if I make the mistake of using the word oenology when I should say viticulture, the old hands lift an eyebrow.”

  Harry smiled weakly.

  “Tell me. I should know, but I don’t,” BoomBoom asked.

  “Viticulture is growing grapes. Oenology is making wine. Such a big damned deal.” Harry threw up her hands.

  “Intruder!” Tucker alerted.

  The women reached the barn at the same time as Arch. He turned off the big Dodge diesel engine and climbed out.

  “Harry, BoomBoom, hi.” He stood with his feet apart, his old cowboy boots creased across the top. “Harry, I apologize. I apologized to Fair at work. I was completely out of line. I’m not making any excuses, but,” he shook his head, bewilderment on his face, “I thought I was over you, I guess. But when I saw you after four years, well, I guess I still have some big feelings, and I took them out on Fair. I’m really sorry.”

  “It can be difficult.” Harry tacitly accepted his apology.

  He breathed out of his nostrils. “I’ve got to get back. Rollie keeps me on a short chain.” He smiled ruefully. “He’s heard about the sharpshooter, so now we’ve inspected every leaf . . . which we should.”

  BoomBoom asked, “Do you think it can do a lot of damage here?”

  “I don’t know. I hope not. The last thing we want is trouble in the industry just when we’re getting somewhere. What worries me is if it’s mutated or is moving up because of warming trends.” He stepped up into the high cab, shut the door, leaned out the window. “I’ll make this up to you, Harry. Oh, you found the sharpshooters in your peaches, right?” She nodded “yes” and he asked, “They doing all right?”

  “I think so.”

  “Good.” He waved and drove off.

  As he drove back down the drive, Harry watched the exhaust curl out of the tailpipe. “That took a bit of courage coming here.”

  BoomBoom sat down when they walked inside the tack room. “I thought Toby was cracking up. Now I wonder about Arch. Not that he shouldn’t apologize.”

  “Shaky. Edgy. Everyone’s off balance.”

  Tucker dropped like a stone on the old horse blanket on the floor for her use. “He’s afraid. I smell it on him.”

  Harry interpreted the dog’s talk as a request for a treat, so she gave Tucker a twisted rawhide chew, then sank into the director’s chair opposite BoomBoom. “Another reason I know things aren’t good is Coop’s not around. She’s working overtime and she’s not saying much. I check in every day.”

  “Did she talk to Herb?”

  Harry brightened. “She did. Forgot to tell you. He said fine. She’ll move in as soon as she can get a day off. There’s so much busy work to do—switch over the power, the phones, all that diddlyshit.”

  “One of these days we won’t need wires. We’ll own one phone number and everything will be keyed to that,” BoomBoom predicted.

  “Think so?”

  “I do.” She suddenly broke into song. “I’ve got your number.”

  “You’re as nuts as the rest of them.” Harry laughed a true deep, dump-the-stress laugh.

  “I’m not insane, honey, just unsane. I greatly recommend it during trying times.”

  32

  Right temple, neatly done. No note.” Rick filled in Cooper when she reached Tinsley Crossroads three
miles from White Vineyards.

  She approached the truck. Hy sat upright behind the wheel, his head tilted all the way back, his Adam’s apple prominent, the .22 pistol still in his right hand. The powder burns on his right temple left a smell of singed flesh and hair, but the entrance was relatively clean. The exit proved messier, with tiny bits of brain and pulverized bone on the seat. A few specks stuck to the passenger window, but the sight wasn’t gross. Coop had seen some really grotesque corpses.

  She walked around the truck. The bed contained a small box of twine and a small box of flypaper. A paperback book about insects had a page turned down. She flicked to the page using the blade of her penknife. It was a photograph of the sharpshooter. Then she knelt down, flipped over on her back, and crawled under the truck. When she slid out, the crushed stone from the road dotted her damp back. The roadbed remained moist from Sunday’s hard storm.

  “How long before the print boys get here?” She returned to Rick.

  “Fifteen minutes. I called them a half hour ago. Traffic’s bad right now.” He brushed off her back.

  “He hadn’t driven in deep mud, but there’s mud on the skid plate.” She then asked, “Was the motor turned off?”

  “Yes. Everything seems quite deliberate.” Rick lit up, handing the fag to Coop so she could enjoy the first drag.

  “Thanks.” She inhaled, then handed the cigarette back to her boss. “Who found him?”

  “Bo Newell. He was driving those Belgian people around. Guess they won’t be buying here. I sent them on. I’ll get back with Bo later.”

  “Body temperature?”

  “He’s around ninety-five degrees right now, give or take.” Rick had put on latex gloves, checking for a pulse, the instant he arrived on the scene.

  “Most folks will take this as proof he was guilty.” Rick watched a blue plume of smoke rise slightly then flatten out, which meant pressure moving down, probably rain later.

  “I try not to laugh when I hear the gossip. Ever notice how desperately people want to believe, want to have an answer, but don’t want to work for it?”

  “That’s why we’re on the county payroll. We have to work for it. In the meantime they can make up whatever they want to make up. They aren’t held accountable.”

  “Think he was accountable?” Coop inclined her head toward Hy for a second.

  “Suicide? He took care of it that way?” Rick crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s logical.”

  “Are you going to treat this as a suicide?” Coop asked, her inflection rising.

  He replied, eyebrows raised, “What do you think?”

  She waited, looked at Hy, then back at Rick. “Nope.”

  “Damned straight. I’m treating this as a suspicious death.”

  “Too many, too close.”

  “I hear the wheels turning.” Rick pointed his forefinger at her.

  “They are, boss, but I need traction.”

  “What we know is, everyone who could have killed Professor Forland or Toby doesn’t have an airtight alibi.” He tapped his toe on the crushed-stone road surface. “Fair has an alibi for Forland. He was asleep in bed. Harry can testify to that. Toby and Arch have or had no one who could clear them about their whereabouts in the middle of the night. Rollie has Chauntal. Then, of course, wives can and do lie to protect husbands. For Toby’s murder, while signs point to Hy, we can’t completely rule out Fair.”

  “I think Fair was set up, because of Toby calling about Jed. We’re missing a big chunk here.”

  “Yeah, I know. And now the bugs.” He nodded in the direction of the truck.

  “Flypaper?”

  “Coop, we’re close to this guy. Really close, if we can just find the right piece to the puzzle.”

  “In time,” she grimly replied.

  “Thought of that, too.”

  “Traction.”

  33

  Fiona had borne up through her husband being accused of murder. Now she bent under the crushing weight of his death.

  Rick carefully described the scene and the fact that the gunshot may have been self-inflicted.

  Cooper, as was her habit, stood quietly beside Rick but made mental notes. Once back in the squad car she would write everything down. Usually she carried her pad with her, but under the circumstances that seemed cold.

  “Hy would never kill himself. He’s Catholic.” Fiona sobbed, her embroidered handkerchief at her gushing eyes.

  Plenty of Catholics had killed themselves over two millennia, but neither Rick nor Cooper thought it wise to mention this. The fact that Fiona hadn’t collapsed was impressive to the two enforcement officials. Events had leached pounds from her, but her haggard face retained vestiges of mature beauty.

  “Did you notice anything out of line the last few days?” Rick sighed. “You and Hy have been under a punishing strain.”

  Her bloodshot eyes searched his. “Do you still think Hy killed Toby?”

  “I have to stick to facts. Hy was our main suspect in the death of Toby Pittman.”

  Coop stepped in. “Something horrible is happening, and for whatever reason it’s happening among those who possess highly specialized knowledge concerning disease in grapes and other crops.”

  Fiona wiped her eyes, took a deep breath. “Hy was passionate about making wine. He got into a big argument with Rollie Barnes yesterday at the co-op store about using machines to destem grapes. He ran into him at the café. People have been shunning us, Rollie included, so Hy’s been extra sensitive. I don’t even know how they started talking, but Hy lost his temper and declared the only way to make wine was to destem the grapes by hand. No bad grape should ever fall into the basket. With a machine they do. Hy came home livid, as it apparently turned into a real shouting match. He thinks everyone is against him.” A long pause followed. “And they were.”

  Coop’s voice soothed. “I’m terribly sorry, Fiona.”

  “Sheriff, Deputy, I know my husband did not kill Toby Pittman. Yes, a wife isn’t considered a good judge in these circumstances, but the least I can do for Hy,” she choked up, then gained control, “is to clear his name, and by God, I will.”

  “Why don’t we wait with you until Alicia arrives?” Rick suggested, as he didn’t want to leave her alone.

  Knowing that the Maudants had no children and were fairly new to Crozet, Coop had taken the precaution of calling Alicia Palmer on the way to White Vineyards. Alicia and Fiona were pals. Alicia dropped everything, so Rick and Coop expected her at any moment.

  The sound of the Land Cruiser on the drive sent a ripple of relief through Coop. Alicia would know what to do.

  Before the beautiful woman came through the door, Fiona asked, “When can I have his body?”

  “I’ll get the autopsy performed today. I’ll call you as soon as it’s over. You understand this is necessary?” Rick spoke in a low tone.

  “Yes, I understand.” She sat upright, speaking deliberately. “I want you both to know that my husband did not commit suicide.”

  Alicia entered without knocking, greeted the sheriff and deputy as she walked over to Fiona. She leaned down to embrace her friend, and that’s when Fiona gave way.

  As Fiona’s sobs shortened, Rick briefed Alicia on the disposition of the body.

  “I’ll take care of the details.” Alicia held Fiona’s hand.

  “Fiona, please forgive me for pressing you at this time, but it’s crucial. We must go through Hy’s papers and computer.”

  “Must it be now?” Alicia spoke for her friend.

  “Yes. Alicia, if this isn’t suicide, others may be in danger,” Rick stated.

  Fiona nodded that it was all right.

  Alicia asked, “Is she in danger?”

  “I don’t care if I am,” Fiona flared. “Let them come and get me. I don’t want to live without Hy. I don’t care!”

  Coop calmly reminded her, “You have to live long enough to clear his name.”

  Fiona blinked, nodded, and said, “You’re ri
ght.”

  34

  Hy Maudant’s funeral, a desultory affair, was attended by twenty-five people that Friday. St. Luke’s seemed cavernous with so few mourners in the pews, but the Reverend Jones rose to the occasion. He didn’t want to praise a murderer, but he didn’t wish to condemn him, either. While Herb didn’t know conclusively if Hy had killed Toby, he felt the evidence against him to be overwhelming. However, the Christian God is a merciful God, and Herb wanted to console Fiona and leave some shred of dignity with the departed.

  Whenever confronted with a knotty problem, Herb turned to the Psalms. He read from Psalm Twenty-five: “‘Turn thou to me, and be gracious to me; for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart, and bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.’ ”

  As the service ended, Hy’s casket was carried by four men from Hill and Wood Funeral Parlor, along with Fair Haristeen and Jim Sanburne.

  Fiona, supported by Alicia and BoomBoom, followed her husband’s casket to the shining black hearse. Aware that eyes were upon her, she held her head up.

  Eight people attended the burial apart from the pallbearers: Harry, BoomBoom, Alicia, Susan, Miranda, Tracy, Little Mim, and Aunt Tally.

  As they repaired to Fiona’s house for the traditional gathering, Aunt Tally waited for Harry to walk next to her.

  “Aunt Tally.” Harry slipped her arm through the old lady’s free arm as Tally used her cane with the other one.

  “We could have done better,” the nonagenarian muttered under her breath.

  “Beg pardon?” Harry inclined her ear toward Aunt Tally.

  “Crozet should have done better by Fiona. Whatever Hy did is buried with him. No need to punish his widow.”

  “You’re right.” Harry shortened her steps.

  “I have a terrible feeling, Aunt Tally.”

  “We all do, dear.”

  “It’s not just about Hy’s death. It’s about all of this. Usually I can piece things together. Even if I don’t put all the puzzle together, I’m close and I eventually figure it all out. But I’m blind this time.”